There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
