Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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