I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I cut my penus on the lid.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
