Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
