please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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