you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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