After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you