Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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