PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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