there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
