ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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