He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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