Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
