I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
