Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
