Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
