careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
