you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
