people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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