i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
