You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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