Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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