it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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