Whod you bang
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
