i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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