i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
