I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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