I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
