dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
