I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
