Dual....:-)
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
