I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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