Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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