Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
