Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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