how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
