This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
