If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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