I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize