fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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