We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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