I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You pole danced in your parka.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
