I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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