obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
