I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
