apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
