you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
