I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
please come you make the beer taste better
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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