So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
