if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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