): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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