it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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