Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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