bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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