so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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