think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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