Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
