I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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