apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
