32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
