You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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