If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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