and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just had sex on a roof
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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