I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
