Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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